Good morning,
Bet you thought I wouldn't write in this blog that much, didn't you? Well you're probably right. A new blog is like a new toy. You want to play with it all the time, and it's shiny and pretty and then something else shiny and pretty comes along...and wait...what was I talking about?
Anyway, lately I've been thinking a lot about baby Baptism. I was baptized as an infant in the Catholic church, and raised Catholic, and while I am no longer an active member, I still value the tradition, the morals and especially the special bond of my Godparents.
If it were up to me, I would Christen my daughter like she was a boat, and just break a bottle of champagne against her chunky thigh and call it a day. Three problems present themselves with this idea:
1) That's child abuse
2) She's not a boat
3) Who wants to waste champagne? Save that for the after Christening mimosas.
The point is, I want my daughter to have Godparents, and I want to raise her with the same sense of tradition and value as I was raised, even if it's not necessarily in the Catholic church. I've been looking a lot into Episcopal Christening. Episcopalians are doin' it right in my mind. All of the tradition of Catholicism, with none of the calories (aka strict and unchanging rules). Not to say they are right or they are wrong. I've learned that when it comes to denominations, I know nothing about anything, and it's best if I just stick with what I believe, and let my friends and family do the same.
Here's the problem. I am not now, nor have I ever been, Episcopal. From what I understand, they recognize all baptism in the Christian church, so I could become a member of the club if I wanted to, but I struggle with wondering if I am doing it for the right reasons. The last thing I want to be is a hypocrite, joining a church because it's the cool thing to do and I want a ceremony and a party afterwards.
God and I have always been cool. I would describe my relationship with Him as best said in a Sufjan Stevens song "I think of you as my brother."
I actually have a brother, who I love dearly, so this equation works well for me. That being said, I have no problem promising to raise my child in a Christian home with Christian ideals. It's the promise to raise them a certain denomination that bothers me. I also am not a church goer, and this is attributed to shear laziness on my part. I have the desire often, but I feel awkward, and I have missed so many Sundays it would be like returning to a book club where you never read the book and just stand there silently with nothing to say and a glass of wine in your hand.
So this is my problem. How do I even begin to get back into that? How do I know I'm doing it because I believe it, and not because I just want to belong to something? Or is that a good enough reason? I don't know if Violet will be baptized. Making that decision for her has proven to be agonizing for me, but then I think "Nothing is final, right?" Just because I promise to raise her a certain way doesn't mean I will stifle her beliefs as she gets older and has a better understanding of her world.
There I go getting all dramatic on my blog again. I hope at least one person can relate to this and give me some good advice on it. Happy Wednesday everyone!
Love,
Dominique
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