A formula for success

Hello all!

I've started this blog because as most of you know (if you're reading this), I am a new mom, and my facebook has turned into nothing but mommy posts, some of which are apparently causing my family to think I'm stressed out constantly. That's what I get for brutal honesty on a public forum! Well, now with a blog, I can still express my views and thoughts without it showing up in anyone's face. Read on if you're interested, and if you're not, may I suggest www.dogshaming.com or www.buzzfeed.com. Both highly entertaining.

So, to start off, I had my February Violet two months ago on Valentine's day. A big girl from birth (a whopping 9lbs), she has always had an insatiable thirst for life...and milk. I have been successfully breastfeeding for those two months now, including two full weeks back to work full time. I'm very proud of that.

That being said, here's the twist ending - my little angel had not one, but three full bottles of formula this past weekend. The first time my husband held that bottle to her lips, I cried tears of sorrow and felt like the failure I promised myself I would never feel. I've been very vocal about my struggles with keeping up with her, and even before her birth, my stand on formula. I had no issues with it. If I was unhappy, she would get that bottle in a heartbeat.

My fears of the expense and the time consuming bottle cleaning actually turned into what some would argue are more irrational fears. What if she was allergic? What if I had to get special soy based gentle stomach colic reducing powdered gold that bankrupted us within a week? And then, as I gave her he third bottle last night (I had to do it sometime, right?) I looked at her beautiful face and wondered if it would somehow make her eyes less blue.

This is the moment I realized I had to stop feeling guilty. She was fine. She liked it, although God knows why because I've tasted both, and I'll tell you - the real stuff is much sweeter. She went to sleep with a full belly and didn't stir for almost 7 hours. For the first time in several weeks, I felt that my baby was satisfied at night. I felt like even though she had completely tapped me out for the day, she was still full and content. It was a good feeling.

I may have lost the battle with exclusively breastfeeding, but I'm still in the war. We are doing both, and will continue to do so as long as my body will allow. I'll never be a "lactivist," but I will admit it was harder for me to let it go than I ever realized it would be. To all of you moms who stuck with it, I applaud you. For all of you moms who realized that it was just too hard and went to the simulated stuff, I applaud you too. The key is recognizing what is good for you and your family, not waiting until it has become close to unbearable to spend time with your baby.

I promise not all of my posts will be this heavy, but I thought it was a good place to start. More to come, so stop by again soon!

Love,
Dominique