"It gets easier."

Dear soon-to-be-first timers,

If I had a nickel for every time I heard that over the past two months, I would be able to afford that soy based gentle stomach colic reducing powdered gold I so feared we would have to get.

The first few times will be from family and close friends who have witnessed your post pregnancy low point breakdown where you're unshowered for a few days, still in your PJ's and glasses and weeping uncontrollably as you say "why doesn't my baby loooooooooooove me?!" because they have been melting down for about 30 minutes.

The first time you hear it from a stranger will be about three weeks out, when you make that "mandatory" trip to Target for all of that stuff that you "need." Translation - if you don't get out of the house with that baby then you might throw them out the window and hope they land on something soft. As your child screams in their car seat, you're struggling balancing your humongous diaper bag that you have filled with enough stuff to survive in the woods for a month and figuring out how the hell your "fast action" stroller folds up to fit in the trunk of your car. And then you'll hear it.

"It gets easier." Maybe it's from super dad who is holding his three year old's hand while balancing the 16 month-er on his hip like a pro and looking at you like he knows what you're going through. Maybe it will be from the kind older lady who raised 7 kids 50 years ago and doesn't understand why you need all of that crap. (hint: You DON'T.) Regardless of the speaker, your first reaction will be to look at them with panic and want to scream "WHEN?! WHEEEEEEEN?!"

Don't do this. Just smile and say "That's what they tell me."

Well let me now save you some trouble. Unfortunately, this entire phrase is a lie. It doesn't get easier. What people mean to say is "You'll stop caring." You'll stop caring if your child eats every three hours on the dot. They're asleep? LET THEM SLEEP. at least a few more minutes. Because they're fine, and trust me, they will let you know when that is no longer the case. You'll stop changing diapers the second you hear that poop sound. Why? Because they're not done. And won't be for another 10-15 minutes. Let them finish.

You'll stop caring that they haven't been bathed in three days because they smell fine, and how dirty can a baby get, really? Or that their clothes don't match, because everything they own has poop stains on it by now. These are all things that new mothers will learn, myself included. So save yourself some trouble and just relax a little bit. In a sense, your lack of caring will make things so much easier. But don't expect things to turn into sunshine and rainbows at whatever mark people tell you they will. And even if they do, your baby will have a curve ball in their pockets just waiting to throw at you.

I hope this  helps.

Love,
Dominique