Good morning!
It may not seem like it from my admittedly overwhelming social media presence, but I am actually a fairly shy person. I clam up in social situations around new people, always worried that my wack-a-do way of thinking, propensity for swearing, or lack of church involvement will screw me over in the new friends department.
But, I have also discovered since becoming a stay at home mom, that I am a fairly lonely person too. Turns out spending all day with two endlessly needy tiny humans can make me feel slightly isolated. And sure, I have my husband, who knows me better than anyone and provides some adult conversation, but he'll never really get it like my girlfriends do. Alas, men are from Mars and women are from Venus.
So I decided a while ago to try and do the impossible: I was going to open my heart, my house, and my best bota box of wine to new friends, with the hopes I could finally make my tribe. The process is slow going, but I am very hopeful. I've used my two best resources-Facebook, and my far more social friends who can introduce me to their "people." And so far, I've gained a few really great women. Women who don't try to act like parenting is magical all day every day. Women who cheers to the end of a long day. Women who share their lives with me, and invite me to their kid's birthday parties, and provide me with a much needed feeling of belonging. I hope if you all are reading this, you know who you are. And how much I thank you for that. And I also hope you know that I am desperately working on becoming one of you, the kind that will take the lonely mom under their wings and teach them a thing or two about belonging to a village.
I am prepping the playroom. I am investing in a swing set, and water toys, and play date spot memberships. I am making my home and my heart "mom group ready." Because I want you to feel as welcome with me as I do with you. I want to spend my time at home not just nurturing my children, but myself.
Because one day, we won't have this connection. Our children will be grown, and our interests will be different. But if I spend this time getting to know these new great women- really know them- then we won't need it. We will have hopefully planted the seed to a friendship that transcends the struggle of life with littles.
Happy Monday! Let's make this summer an amazing one!
Love,
Dominique
Monday, June 13, 2016
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
I've Definitely Lost My Kid in a Public Place
Good morning! Happy Wednesday!
You may have heard that people are all in a tizzy about this incident at the Cincinnati Zoo this past weekend. Here's the short of it - A 4 year old boy wandered away from his mom, and fell into a Gorilla enclosure, where a very large silverback gorilla approached him. Taking quick action, the zoo ultimately decided to the shoot the gorilla, and he was killed. The boy was rescued, and is going to make a full recovery from his injuries.
Of course, the parenting police and the animal police decided this was going to be a great way to get on their soapbox about both why the gorilla was harmed, and what was the kid doing there in the first place? Wasn't she watching him? Call DHR! Call CPS! She's clearly unfit because her preschooler escaped her vision for what I can only guess was one minute, or the approximate time frame it takes for a preschooler to get into anything they aren't supposed to be doing.
Well you know what? I lost my kid in a public place for 20 minutes. Recently. No, it wasn't the zoo. Yes, it was enclosed with little chance for escape or harm. But I did lose her. For a good 20 minutes, I had NO IDEA what my 3 year was doing. She could have been abducted. She could have been doing crack in the corner with some terrible other preschool kids. But it was a crowded, kid ridden indoor playground with lots of noise and such going on, and I got distracted. And I lost her.
So all of you parents calling for an investigation into this mother, just remember - it could and probably will happen to you. Hopefully not with the same consequences, but one day, despite your very best effort, your child will wander away. You will feel the immediate panic of realizing you don't see them. You will go over a million scenarios in a split second of what could be happening. You will be talking yourself down as you say over and over "they're fine, they're fine, I'll find them."
Because the truth is, it doesn't matter how diligent we are as parents, We all screw up. We are humans, and we get distracted. The best you can hope for is that your kid isn't the next one on national news putting your "bad parenting" in the spotlight. Ease up.
The very best thing we can say as parents on this is "Thank God the child is ok." And say a prayer for the mother who is getting hate spit at her from all sides because she, like me, let her child out of her sight for one minute. And always remember that "Never assume anyone is watching your child but you." I remember my wise sister saying this to me at the beach last year as a I struggled between enjoying the sights and making sure my then 2 year old didn't get pulled under. I never forget it. And I still lost my kid in a crowded place.
I am an imperfect person, and sometimes sub-par parent. But we are all trying as best we can.
Love,
Dominique
You may have heard that people are all in a tizzy about this incident at the Cincinnati Zoo this past weekend. Here's the short of it - A 4 year old boy wandered away from his mom, and fell into a Gorilla enclosure, where a very large silverback gorilla approached him. Taking quick action, the zoo ultimately decided to the shoot the gorilla, and he was killed. The boy was rescued, and is going to make a full recovery from his injuries.
Of course, the parenting police and the animal police decided this was going to be a great way to get on their soapbox about both why the gorilla was harmed, and what was the kid doing there in the first place? Wasn't she watching him? Call DHR! Call CPS! She's clearly unfit because her preschooler escaped her vision for what I can only guess was one minute, or the approximate time frame it takes for a preschooler to get into anything they aren't supposed to be doing.
Well you know what? I lost my kid in a public place for 20 minutes. Recently. No, it wasn't the zoo. Yes, it was enclosed with little chance for escape or harm. But I did lose her. For a good 20 minutes, I had NO IDEA what my 3 year was doing. She could have been abducted. She could have been doing crack in the corner with some terrible other preschool kids. But it was a crowded, kid ridden indoor playground with lots of noise and such going on, and I got distracted. And I lost her.
So all of you parents calling for an investigation into this mother, just remember - it could and probably will happen to you. Hopefully not with the same consequences, but one day, despite your very best effort, your child will wander away. You will feel the immediate panic of realizing you don't see them. You will go over a million scenarios in a split second of what could be happening. You will be talking yourself down as you say over and over "they're fine, they're fine, I'll find them."
Because the truth is, it doesn't matter how diligent we are as parents, We all screw up. We are humans, and we get distracted. The best you can hope for is that your kid isn't the next one on national news putting your "bad parenting" in the spotlight. Ease up.
The very best thing we can say as parents on this is "Thank God the child is ok." And say a prayer for the mother who is getting hate spit at her from all sides because she, like me, let her child out of her sight for one minute. And always remember that "Never assume anyone is watching your child but you." I remember my wise sister saying this to me at the beach last year as a I struggled between enjoying the sights and making sure my then 2 year old didn't get pulled under. I never forget it. And I still lost my kid in a crowded place.
I am an imperfect person, and sometimes sub-par parent. But we are all trying as best we can.
Love,
Dominique
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