How I Am Learning to Make Friends as a Struggling, Hot Mess of an Adult

Good morning!

It may not seem like it from my admittedly overwhelming social media presence, but I am actually a fairly shy person. I clam up in social situations around new people, always worried that my wack-a-do way of thinking, propensity for swearing, or lack of church involvement will screw me over in the new friends department.

But, I have also discovered since becoming a stay at home mom, that I am a fairly lonely person too. Turns out spending all day with two endlessly needy tiny humans can make me feel slightly isolated. And sure, I have my husband, who knows me better than anyone and provides some adult conversation, but he'll never really get it like my girlfriends do. Alas, men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

So I decided a while ago to try and do the impossible: I was going to open my heart, my house, and my best bota box of wine to new friends, with the hopes I could finally make my tribe. The process is slow going, but I am very hopeful. I've used my two best resources-Facebook, and my far more social friends who can introduce me to their "people." And so far, I've gained a few really great women. Women who don't try to act like parenting is magical all day every day. Women who cheers to the end of a long day. Women who share their lives with me, and invite me to their kid's birthday parties, and provide me with a much needed feeling of belonging. I hope if you all are reading this, you know who you are. And how much I thank you for that. And I also hope you know that I am desperately working on becoming one of you, the kind that will take the lonely mom under their wings and teach them a thing or two about belonging to a village.

I am prepping the playroom. I am investing in a swing set, and water toys, and play date spot memberships. I am making my home and my heart "mom group ready." Because I want you to feel as welcome with me as I do with you. I want to spend my time at home not just nurturing my children, but myself.

Because one day, we won't have this connection. Our children will be grown, and our interests will be different. But if I spend this time getting to know these new great women- really know them- then we won't need it. We will have hopefully planted the seed to a friendship that transcends the struggle of life with littles.

Happy Monday! Let's make this summer an amazing one!

Love,
Dominique