So you may have heard I had a second baby. A bouncing 16 pounds of girly joy. Well, that's what she is now. When she was born she was slightly smaller. Buuut, that was 6 months ago. To say I've been busy is the understatement of the year.
Hazel came into this world in the almost exact same way as Violet did, albeit slightly less dramatic. As usual, my body followed my heart and was so over being pregnant by 36 weeks, so it started the process early. (Sound familiar?) By my 38 week appointment, we were ready, so I was admitted to the hospital. 8 hours, 2 Labor and Delivery nurses, an epidural, a lengthy conversation about Laguna Beach, and three pushes later, she was in my arms. 8lbs, 4 ounces of perfect squish.
Violet was immediately smitten. It could be because "the baby" gave her a present of an icecream play doh set on the first day of her life, or it could just be that she was pretty psyched to be a big sis. Personally I think it was a little bit of both. Fortunately, half a year in, she is still doting on her baby sister, and hugging her constantly. We are a lucky family. I can't get into everything that has been going on in the past 6 months, because I would be here forever and ever and ever. So, I will list some of the most valuable things I have learned in a half a year of parenting two tiny human beings:
1) You can, in fact, love your subsequent children as much as your first. It's a grinch effect - your heart just gets bigger and makes the room.
2) That being said, you will prefer one or the other at various times of the day. And that's ok. When Violet is crying hysterically because her shoe is on the wrong foot, and Hazel is cooing like an angel in her crib still, I make a silent prayer of thanks that Violet is going to school three days a week next year. And when Hazel is refusing her nap. again. and rubbing her eyes while I wonder "Whhhhhhhy? you're clearly SO tired." and Violet is doing her silly walks in the kitchen, all I want to do is put the baby down and join her.
3) Everyone told me that all of the newborn stuff would come back to me like riding a bike. I'm still waiting for that.
4) It's important to make an effort, but remember that no matter what you do - all kids are different and are going to respond differently. I think I did like, 10 minutes of tummy time with Violet a day, and yet she still turned out with a round head and sitting up on her own by 6 months. With Hazel, her flat spot may need intervention, and she's still wobbly - yet I barely let the back of her head touch anything. All this to say, it's not your fault.
5) There's poop everywhere. All the time. If it's not the baby, it's the toddler. If it's not the toddler or the baby, it's the dog, because you forgot to take her out while you were dealing with the baby and the toddler.
6) Getting both of your kids on the same nap schedule really is the holy grail of stay at home momhood. Lucky me, Violet stopped napping a year ago. So I get to just figure out what I can use to distract her with quiet time long enough to eat a meal or watch Modern Family on Hulu while the baby sleeps.
7) Nobody expects you to stay awake past 10pm. Bravo if you can even make it that late. The level of exhaustion that comes with two or more littles is beyond comprehension until you are living it.
8) You will eventually get into a good enough routine to get some semblance of a life back. You may even start blogging again. But don't get too comfortable, because babies are unpredictable at best. Just go with it, man.
9) I've never in my life had so much passion for a job. Yes, it's a privileged job, but it is hard work to stay at home with these two. However, I put my all into it, almost every day (yes, almost) and that's more than I can say for any paid profession I have ever had. I genuinely care about and believe in what I am doing. Which gives me the confidence and desire to find other projects outside of child rearing that can also ignite my passion.
10) Having two may mean less time for my husband, but it means way more appreciation for him. Since having Hazel, I feel like I've gotten closer to him than ever before, if only because I really really need him. For help, for sleep, for comic relief. For sanity. For food, because I still hate cooking. He's my partner in crime and parenthood, and I'm thankful for him every day.
There's more, of course. But I'll save that for another day. Thanks for listening, as always.
Love,
Dominique
