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Thursday, May 29, 2014

Seasons

Usually when someone mentions the word "Seasons," I think "Summer and Winter." Which are the only two seasons Alabama participates in. However, lately I've been having to remind myself that a season can also apply to a time in your life that may be good or bad, and is, as everything tends to be - temporary.

I've had a hard time lately. I've been conspicuously absent from my writing lately, because I haven't wanted to talk about it. It's not fun, it's not clever or light-hearted. But I will do my best to approach it with my usual batch of sarcasm.

We are struggling. As you may recall, I have been riding the unemployment train since January, and taking advantage of this time to stay with my favorite girl. Well, government hand outs don't last forever (even if there are people out there who seem to make it their job to make them last forever) and soon we will have to make a choice as to whether or not going back to work will be in my future.

Chris works so hard for this family. He's great at his job, and his small company has been good to this family. However, with small businesses come some setbacks, and growth tends to be one of them. Luckily, my brilliant husband has found a way to restructure his responsibilities at work, and his ideas have been positively received by the owner. I'm sure he wouldn't want me to talk about this. I'm certain he would rather me tell everyone that he's applying to NASA and I'll never have to work again. But the truth is, I'm proud of him. One of the advantages of where he is now is that his schedule is very considerate to this family. And he knows that. And he wants to keep that. Money is definitely not everything.

That being said, even with the restructure, it will be probably prudent for me to start looking for a part time position somewhere. The problem with part time work is the math of it all. A full time job is generally salaried, whereas part time tends to be more on an hourly basis. They also tend to be more on the lower scale of responsibility, which means that they are on the lower scale of pay. Part time work does not mean half of what you were making before.

But, part time daycare tends to add up to almost exactly half of what we were paying before. Meaning, I'm bringing in less money, and paying about the same for the amount of care I need. It hardly makes it worth it if you are working to bring in extra income. Get it? So, my options are limited. Either I , A) find a great paying part time job or B) find a job at a daycare facility with lowered or free tuition for employees, or C)find a job that I really really love to do that will make it all worth it.

But I love my job now. This is what I want to do. So C seems a bit out of the question. In a perfect world, I would be getting paid $20 an hour at a daycare that I love with free tuition for Violet. So if you know of that job, for goodness sake - let me know! I'm pretty great with kids!

But I know this is all a season. Every single member of my family has gone through hardship at some point in their lives, and we always pull through. We Grants are survivors. And we Kings are resilient. And for now, I have a lot of great things going on for the summer with my family and friends. So even if this season of my life is harder than I would like it be right now, this season of summer fun is going to be amazing. And I still get to spend it with my favorite girl. Even if maybe it's a little less time.

Happy Thursday everyone!

Love,
Dominique




Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Sorry, Not Sorry

Good morning!

I know I've been absent for over a week now. It's not for lack of things to talk about, but more that I have so much jumbled in this tiny head of mine that I haven't been able to focus much on any one thing. So, I decided to file it all away and talk about something that really bothers me lately.

Now, I just may be overly sensitive (hey, I've been accused of it before), but lately I have been seeing a lot of posts from various sources aimed at the "anti-children" movement. Some of are meant in jest, some are more serious, some are just plain crazy, but they all have one thing in common: An unapologetic open letter basically sticking it to anyone who chose to have kids.

Now, I must say, I agree with the articles that focus on the "it's no one's business if I want kids or when." kind of message. They are absolutely right. Kids aren't for everyone, and you never know someone's secret struggle. And of course it's ok to not want kids. Why wouldn't it be?

But to attack the parenting world with posts like "Top 10 Things You Wish your Friends with Kids Would Stop Doing," is just unnecessary.

Here's the hard truth: Kids change your life. And in a lot of circumstances, like mine, they BECOME your life. It's hard not to focus 100% on someone who needs you to do most everything for them 24/7 for a while. I've fairly recently started living by the motto "You chose this life." (Ask Chris, boy does he hate it when I say that to him!) If you don't want to see pics of my kid on social media, by all means, unfollow or unfriend me. If you don't want to hear about my kid, don't ask me about my day. Because I promise you, it involves 90% my child, and 10% the episode of House I got to watch while she was asleep.

If you don't want to hear my opinion on those articles asking me to stop mom-blogging, please - stop reading my blog. Don't click that link. It contains nothing you want to see or read.

The fact is, I love being a mom and all that comes with it. And I, for one, love sharing those experiences via social media or my blog with other moms, and other people who are truly interested in what my life is like. This is it, ya'll. Poopie diapers and precious smiles. Frustrating days, and moments I wish would never end.

This is me. It's not ALL of who I am, but let's face it - it's a good, fat chunk right now. And I'm going to continue to share my pictures, and I'm going to continue to ask mom questions, and I'm going to continue to write this blog and rant and rave about various things, mom related or not.

True friends and family will always accept when a big change happens in our lives, even if that change is not really wanted/welcomed/or is really, really annoying. So come on people, be kind to people who want kids. Or don't want kids. Both choices are great, and incredibly personal.

Rant over. Happy Tuesday! I hope all of my friends with kids enjoy their family day, and I hope all of my friends without kids enjoy their day doing whatever it is you do with no kids. (Seriously, I can't remember.)

Love,
Dominique