I have started this new every day thing, where Violet has a snack while I clean the kitchen, and we watch an episode or two of Gilmore Girls. Did you know that Lorelei is supposed to be just a year older than me in this show? Seems odd. She looks older. Acts older. Maybe that's the point - that she had to grow up fast because she had her daughter at 16.
Anyway, this particular episode was really centered on Rory and her boyfriend of the time, Dean. It begins with a (hinted at) long standing tradition of Rory and her mother watching episodes of Donna Reed, and poking fun at all things 50s about them, as they usually do. Rory's boyfriend, Dean, enters the conversation, and points out that maybe it isn't so bad that Donna Reed cooks every meal for her family. The Gilmores are appalled. How dare he?! Donna Reed is what everything is wrong about the 50s, right? The whole, "Barefoot and pregnant" era.
The episode continues in usual fashion, but the argument rears its ugly head once more. Dean points out that maybe she liked doing those things. Maybe it's a nice idea that a woman would want to cook dinner and clean the house and provide that for her family. He then goes on to say his own mother did this.
I have to say, I agree with Dean. I used to think that it was such an antiquated idea. Dinner on the table by five, staying at home with the kids. Being in charge of the laundry, and dishes while the husband works.
I was a working mom once. I felt I had an equal partnership with my husband. And then I got let go. And you know what happened? Nothing about that changed. I was thrown into a role I never thought I wanted, and I STILL feel every bit as equal to my husband (Sometimes superior! haha, just kidding.)
I don't cook in this house. Sure, I can make a few things, but I prefer for Chris to do all of the cooking. Everything he makes just tastes better. Maybe because I don't enjoy the effort. But I do most of the laundry, the cleaning, and taking care of the baby. And I want to do those things. I'm good at it. It makes my days go by faster, and my nights more relaxed because, for once, I have the time to keep a fairly clean house.
And I know many others who feel the same way. Feminism is not fighting the stereotypical roles, it's fighting for the choice to do what you want to do, not what you have to or is expected of you. I am not expected to stay home. I am not expected to clean the kitchen, or do the laundry. I am expected to take care of the baby all day, because frankly, no one else is around to do it, and it's kind of my job description right now.
I do these things because I want to do them. And if I ever don't want to, my husband will be just fine with that.
That being said, I still love the Gilmore Girls. I only hope I can have as good of a relationship as that with my own daughter some day. A good balance between parent and friend. But probably more on the parent side.
Happy Wednesday!
Love,
Dominique
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