But with that, I was reminded today via the lovely TimeHop app, that exactly 2 years ago, I was about to be fired for the first time in my life. I say the first time because it also wasn't the last.
I would say a big part of this is my secret shame. When I talk about my time with my old company, I don't speak of why I left, just that I left. And I don't speak of it often. Well today I break my semi-silence, because I know now how fortunate I was to be fired. Twice.
The shortened version is this: I worked for this company for 2 years, and was somewhat poached away to work in another office of said company for nearly a year. I had a baby, went on three months maternity leave (six of the weeks just on bedrest) and came back. When Violet was 4 months old, I was told it was not working out. However, the position I had left for this one happened to be reopened, so I was offered my old job back.
Six months after that, I was told it was not working out. Again. This time I was left without options, without dignity and without health insurance. The latter of which made me cry in the office. A decision I still regret, but emotions are emotions. And I had a 10 month old for goodness's sake. I was tired.
I went home and left Violet in daycare for her dad to pick her up later. As much as I wanted to see her sweet face, I needed some time to clear my head more. I took a nap, I ate some good lunch, and I watched TV. I didn't think about what had just happened or what it all meant. I would have time the next day to do that. And the next. And the next.
The next day, I got the ball rolling. I applied for unemployment, I looked into my individual healthcare options (Chris's family plan at work is not and will not likely ever be an option. The premiums are REDONK.) And then I started packing to go to Mobile for Christmas.
After I got the insurance thing settled for me and V that January, I spent 6 wonderful months being a stay at home mom, taking advantage of the system, and just relishing in the early days of toddlerhood with my girl. We knew it wouldn't last forever. We knew that eventually I would have to find work, but my husband being the wonderful man he is, discussed with me that part time was likely the best choice for us. He had seen how working full time with an infant had taken it's toll on me, and how much better we all were with me being home more.
So I started my search. I went to staffing agencies, I put the word out on social media, and I asked family and friends to be on the look out for me. I spent hours scouring the internet for openings, and went on some sketchy interviews. About 2 weeks before my unemployment was to stop, I got a text from a friend telling me of a job that was hiring for an afternoon position in an administrative field. The hours were a bit strange, but I sent in my resume and hoped for the best.
I was granted an interview, and got the call before I had even made it home that they wanted me for the job. I told them I needed to figure out childcare. We had dropped Violet's full time care out of necessity, and part time care was new to me. Somehow I managed to find a place that would work with my unusual schedule, so I called back and set up a start date.
That was almost exactly one year ago.
In that time, the following has happened:
My daughter grew taller, and I got to see it. My retirement account from my old company got cashed out, and I got to pay off the majority of our credit card debt. I get to eat breakfast at home, have adult conversations in the afternoon, and work with some of the kindest people I have ever known. My husband got the ball rolling on some great changes in his work, and for the first time, we could consider a second baby. I learned how to budget better than I had in my entire life. I learned how to prioritize and organize. I learned how to coupon, price shop and be content. I learned how to be happy.
Now, at the end of September, I will end my tenure as a working mother for an undecided amount of time, this time because it's my choice. I have to wonder if that would have been possible if I had stayed with my old company. Maybe it would have - or maybe I would still be caught up in so much of the old routine that not much would have changed. Sometimes it takes an unexpected shake up to make you realize what you really needed or wanted to do.
I'm not proud I got fired. There's always going to be a part of me that remembers for that period of time, I couldn't cut it. But I am proud that I can look back at the past two years, and feel that I made the best of what could have been a really crappy situation. I didn't jump back into a comfortable place, but instead tried to find a new comfort. And that gives me a lot of faith in myself, and my family.
Happy Tuesday, everyone!
Love,
Dominique
 |
| 21 weeks and bumpin' large and in charge |
No comments:
Post a Comment