I Can't Be the Only Mom Who is Terrified of Potty Training

So, I know it's been a long, long while since I wrote anything. I could go into how I was busy, and holidays and whatever, but I won't. Too much ground to cover, people. And if we're being honest, not a whole lot has happened recently until now.

Out of nowhere, it seems my 21 month old wild child has started showing all of the typical signs of being ready to potty train. And what I mean by showing signs, I mean she started acting weird about stuff, so I googled it like you would google symptoms on WebMD. Unlike WebMD, however, the answer was pretty clear (not ebola! Yay!)

My first thought was, "What?! I'm not ready for that. I wasn't even going to THINK about that until she was two, at least. What's her problem anyway? Diapers are great. They catch everything, and she never has to slow down or risk Ebola in a gas station bathroom because you got lost."

Well, it may have not been that dramatic. But I was selfishly hoping to keep her in diapers for a while longer and relish in my (reasonably) clean home.

So now I spend my time on Amazon researching potties. Do I go with a full toddler potty or just the seat attachment and get a step stool? I should probably get one that can do both, right? How about this sesame street one? Does that look like a friendly place to poop? How should I know what's friendly? Friendly places for adults generally only have to be clean.

And pull ups or training pants. What's the point of a pull up anyway? It's just a diaper that you don't unlatch. It still feels like a diaper. A mom's dream, right? But my baby won't know the difference and will continue to go whenever and where ever her little heart desires because she's basically in a diaper still.

So my mom is a firm believer in training pants. Also known as "Super thick absorbent but not leak proof underwear." "She has to get uncomfortable," she says. "It'll be FUN," she says. Well she didn't say that last part (and after five kids, she would know.) What about my comfort level? What about all of the surfaces that may or may not smell like urine in my house from now on? Minnie Mouse chair? The couch? The amazingly-still-looks-good WHITE carpet in the playroom? Her crib? Her beautiful crib, with it's teeth marks on one rail and her lavender bedding I bought to match her pretty name.

So I look at these training pants on amazon, with their pretty pink flowers and I think "You're trying to ruin me."

But I think she might be right. I mean, my sister's house and my brother's house don't smell like a cat lady's - and they both have two girls.

And so we have an Abby Cadabby (with real flushing sound!) pink potty chair arriving Friday, and I guess I'll add some training pants and pull ups (for naps and day care) to the list as well.

Sigh. Goodbye smells like nothing playroom.

I hardly knew ye.

Love,
Dominique