Good afternoon and Happy Monday!
Even though my rejoining of the gainfully employed doesn't begin until next week, we have already had a taste of what daycare is going to be like this time around through my subbing experiences. Today, as I delighted in the enthralling conversations of three year olds, my daughter the hurricane was terrorizing her teachers in the toddler room.
Now that's a bit of an exaggeration. Her teacher would tell you that she was fine, and sweet, and a good eater, and these things are mostly true - but we had our first ugly experience with the dark side today.
Violet bit her teacher. Bit - for the first time ever - because he teacher "had the nerve" to try and fix her mop of a ponytail spout that was sticking straight up from her head. I immediately felt terror. I had dealt with biters before. "Three strikes and you're out," I thought. "Great. I've got 'the biter.'"
Honestly, my once chill baby has become a full on toddler terror at certain points in her day (I'll give you a hint - they generally happen around food time and nap time) and I've been noticing it for weeks. Her frustrating "hulk outs" that I once found funny have now started to worry me. Her "noodling" when she doesn't want to be picked up is now followed closely by a face-down-on-the-floor-screaming tantrum is someone tries to take something from her - even if it's just to give it back to the person she stole it from in the first place.
But a biter? Please, God, no! Those precious little scattered chicklets that look adorable when she smiles are actually fierce weapons, and I would know - I have been on the receiving end of a clamped down jaw during toothbrush time.
This is a problem for me. How do I discipline a 17 month old? How do I emphasize "No bite!" when "Bite" is not even a word she literally knows the meaning of yet? Time out, people say. Ok, I can do that. But where? The only chair her size is her comfy chair, and I don't want that associated with punishment. And her crib? Not a chance - that is one of the only places she finds solace enough to sleep. Her packnplay? How will I ever do laundry again when every time I place her in her safe space that she screams with distress? I am really at a loss.
And it hurts. You know it hurts. It's easy to tell someone else's kid "No!" or put them, screaming and flailing, in a time out chair. But your own? It's heartbreaking. I start to think, "Where did I go wrong?! I am so embarrassed. Every mother or caregiver here thinks I coddle my child too much. They are all telling each other how bad she is."
But that's not true. No one is talking. Everyone who has ever experienced a toddler knows they are unpredictable at best. That they simply can't voice their anger or frustrations, and that kids bite. Some of them do. Mine did.
And she might never do it again. Or I might be remarking to someone someday about how my kid was a biter, and you'd never know it because she's so sweet, right?
So my new questions to daycare givers will not be things like "When is nap time? How many bottles of milk do I need to bring?" It's going to be more like "How do you discipline? Do you send accident reports? How much does she need to be bleeding before I have to come get her?" Just kidding on that last one. Kind of.
Anyway, pray for V that the biting does not continue. And please pray for me and Chris to be able to nip that in the bud and figure out a good solution.
Happy Monday everyone! Cheers to an early bedtime for everyone in this house!
Love,
Dominique
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