I had a really good conversation with my mom yesterday. I've noticed that as I get older, our conversations have seemed to shift from a 15 minute phone call where I reveal nothing to an hour long talk that includes such questions as "Should I pay someone to do my taxes?," and "Should we consider taking out a small loan to do some home improvements?"
You know, adult stuff. My parents opinion is of the upmost importance because I consider their lives to be a great success. I grew up the very definition of middle class. We lived in a quiet neighborhood about two blocks away from the Catholic school and church we attended. It was the kind of neighborhood where most of the houses were built sometime in the 60s and 70s, and it went through the cycles of housing the elderly to young families. We always had good name brand food, but we rarely went out to eat. We didn't get brand new cars, but we always had a ride. My dad worked in my grandfather's small business and my mom taught elementary school. In grade school, my summers went spent riding my bike to my various neighborhood friends homes and spending the entire day outside. By the time high school started for me, I was busier with sports, and then when I was 17, I got my very first summer job. Up until a few months ago, I hadn't stopped working since.
My point is, we didn't have a lot of money, but I still had an idyllic childhood. Going into my adulthood, things got considerably harder, as they tend to do. I had to take out loans for my college, and I suffered the consequences of not having someone older telling me to go to class for the first time. I worked all throughout school for my "play money" and at one point was working 30 hours at a minimum wage job, 20 hours at an unpaid internship, and taking 15 hours of classes. I'm not sure how that's physically possible, but for one semester, I did it. Then I graduated and moved to Birmingham, got my first job making $23,000 a year (hands down the most money I had EVER seen) and was truly on my own for the first time ever.
But I was never unhappy. Sure, I was unhappy at specific times, for specific reasons, but overall I was satisfied with how things had played out for me.
Skip to 6 years later, and I'm sitting in a house that I own, from the 70s, in a neighborhood that looks exactly like my parents, with my husband and a baby, a pug and the world's most oddly affectionate cat. I still drive my 1999 civic, our house is definitely dated in some areas, and me and V spend most of days enjoying the various free activities around town. Storytimes, and wagon rides around the neighborhood, and walks in the park.
And I'm so happy. I couldn't ask for anything more. I grew up believing that the important things in life were love and family. I learned to treat people like I want to be treated, and have a generous spirit and heart. To never let the petty things guide my contentment. I think that if my daughter grew up the exact way that I did, she would never be unsatisfied. She may not get a brand new car, and she may not always have the best brand clothes, and she may have to take out loans for her education. Yes, I would love to provide these things for her, but if for some reason we can't, I think she'll be just fine. I was. I am.
Some people would take this blog as a statement of my lack of ambition. I'm very ambitious, just not in the traditional areas that that word is associated with. I work very hard to build a happy life for my family, myself, and my friends. Even if all I can do is be a sympathetic ear or say encouraging words, or, as you often see here, admit my own faults open and honestly for the world to see.
We may never have a lot of money. But that's ok. We have a lot of love. And when I do get to feeling stressed or down, nothing will get you right again like a hot shower and a pint of ice cream.
Happy Friday, everyone! May your weekend be everything you hoped it would. Tonight I'll be lucky enough to celebrate the birthday of one of my best friends in entire world.
Love,
Dominique
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| My parents, Gerald and Stella |
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