My Top 10 List of things I May Never Learn (And the tough love I need to give myself)

I've learned a lot over the past year. I've grown, (then shrunk) then grew again as I got pregnant, had a baby and am now always attempting to keep said baby happy and alive. But there are always going to be things in my life that I seem to never learn. Why is it so hard?

1) You're not going to want/eat that salad. Whenever you decide you'll get a salad for lunch because you need something fast and the thought of a burger makes you ill, you always end up ill anyway because of low blood sugar 3 hours later. Dominique, you don't want a salad. Just get the damn burger.

2) No amount of preparation is ever going to make your trips to Mobile the same 4 hours they have always been. You have a kid now. She gets hungry, and lonely and screams bloody murder in the backseat until you stop. Get used to a 5 hour timeline at least.

3) Despite your lack of best efforts, geography is always going to be your Achilles Heal. Learn how to point out the important places in the news on a map and let it go.

4) You will never know how to spell the word "necessary." Even as you type the rest of this sentence, the red squiggly line underneath it beckons you to do an auto correct with your right click.

5) You may never learn how to put on eyeliner. It's never been part of your makeup repertoire, and is seemingly one of the few girl-staples that you never bothered with. You've doomed yourself to a life of small, undefined eyes. That someone once told you were too close together.

6) You'll never teach high school English. It's time to let this dream go, as you've now realized that in order to teach others English, you have to be able to properly speak and write it yourself. You have poor grammar, bad spelling and you start a lot of sentences with prepositions. You have, however, learned to separate the two words "a lot." Kudos.

7) You hate running. Or exercise in general that you haven't been tricked into doing. Don't ever join a gym again unless they have a magical pool that somehow always has lounge chairs open and isn't filled with pool rat children and tatted fraternity guys hitting on the lifeguards.

8) You love TV. Accept it. TV and wine are your friends, and subsequently, your only hobbies. Stop telling people you are going to start working in the yard outside.

9) You're not going to make your own baby food, and in all truth, you are terrified of the day when your daughter isn't eating pureed jar foods anymore. She can't survive off of totino's pizzas and mac and cheese like you can, so you better come up with a solution quick.

10) Despite all of your faults, you're a good mom. Your baby is happy, healthy and cute as a button. You're doing fine. And you'll be able to handle whatever comes your way regarding her from here on out. Even if you think you can't.

So there you have it, the Truth Bomb of blogs.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

Love,
Dominique