My list of Top Ten Children's Toys that are Ruining America (and probably a lot of other places)

First of all, even though I've always been partial to watching children's programming in the morning as I get ready (Backyardigans, Fresh Beat Band, and lately, Spongebob), I've never noticed until I actually had a child how many dumb kids toys there are out there. I fear for the day when she actually understands what's going on on the magical moving picture screen, and begs me with certainty that she just desperately "neeeeeds" one of these ridiculous things for her birthday.

So anyway, here's a silly list (emphasis, SILLY - don't crucify me for my opinions, people) of what I consider to be the worst offenders:

1)Build-A-Bear: Got a kid that loves taxidermy? Now you will as they become increasingly obsessed with the Build-A-Bear workshop. First, pick your animal skin. Then take it over to the stuffing machine to stuff with it with your love (and filling) while you pick out it's adorable new humanizing clothing. Yay!

2) Any variation of the Bratz Dolls. I'm almost 100% certain that the Bratz Action heroes line caused the government shutdown. "Let's go save people and stuff." <--------actual last line of the commercial.

3) Zhu Zhu pets: These are not quite so advertised anymore but paying $10 ($40, at the height of their popularity) for a mechanical hamster that looks and feels like....a mechanical hamster... just seems wrong to me. How did these things ever get so popular?

4)The Monster High Dolls: Following closely behind the Bratz series, these things make me question: What happened to the simple Barbie? Sure, she had unrealistic proportions and a tendency to way behind in women's lib, but at least she had a normal skin color and a pulse!

5) The Hulk Green Fists: Because nothing teaches your child that violence isn't the answer like a set of boxing gloves disguised as a toy.

6) The FurReal friends: Just get them a pet, already. Having a semi-realistic cat that meows but can be thrown to the floor during snack time doesn't exactly teach responsibility. Here's a thought, FurReal makers - amp up the shedding, pooping and give them retractable claws that will scratch the crap out of you if you pull at their tales, and you might have a good product on  your hands.

7) Magic, the Gathering: Let your child decide their own geeky fate. Don't choose it for them.

8) Easy Bake Oven: YES. I wanted one of these. YES. All of my friends have them. But they are arguably the world's most disappointing toy. Waiting 40 minutes while a lightbulb slowly warms your brownie to an acceptable mushy mess to eat.  I 100% blame these for the fact that I now hate to cook and have no patience for things that I do have to cook occasionally.

9) Pillow Pets Dream lights: Because the last thing you want shining on your kids face as brightly as the sun as you are praying that they go to sleep is their own pillow.

10) Breaking Bad plush dolls: Yep, these exist. Meth lab not included.

Happy Tuesday!


Love,
Dominique

Tomato, Tomato.

Yes, I know that phrasing doesn't really work well in print. But you get what I mean, right?

I am the world's worst at comparing my life to other's lives. My house, my job, my car, clothes, husband, baby, everything.

Lately the focus has been more on my baby. Is she fat enough? Tall enough? Does she have enough hair and enough teeth? Should I be putting bows in her hair every day and dressing her dresses? I see a lot of other moms do that.

As Gloria on Modern Family says, "It's a doggy dog world." As in, whose puppy is the best? With everything from social media to gossip magazines to growth and percentile charts littering the internet with pictures and statistics, it's hard for me to not compare my child to others I see that are her age.

The truth is, V excels in some areas, and is honestly behind on others. She's tall, but lean, curious but not mobile, and has a head full of hair and a barely visible two teeth. She's great, really. So why do I worry?

Because I'm her mom. And because I look at other babies her age on facebook taking bites out of whole fruits and crawling like a speed demon. My daughter is a scooter, and literally throws up anything not puree'd. Except puffs. And we just got used to those. She can't pull up, and seems to have no interest in doing so. She'll mumble "da da da da da" over and over, but never say daddy. Or mama. Which she totally knows bothers me.

But she's healthy. And I get stopped by strangers in the grocery store to tell me she's beautiful. And she loves me and gets so excited when me or her daddy enter a room. I need to stop trying to make her something she's not. So what if she's not there yet? I remember a book my mother bought me called "Leo the late bloomer." It was about a lion cub who couldn't do all of the things his other animal friends could do, and then one day, he just got it. I was that way. Maybe my daughter is that way too.

Being a mother teaches you a type of patience you never you could have. A full on tantrum filled with flailing arms and crocodile tears doesn't even phase me anymore. Nor does a 10 minute stretch of her tiny arms trying to get a toy juuuuust out of her reach. I watch with patience and marvel at how hard she is trying.

So I just need to remember to apply those same principles to her every day life. I have no doubt that she's as smart as a whip (I know it, because I can see it in her eyes when she KNOWS she's messing with me), and that all of these things will come in time. And one day my little Leo will just get it. If you're constantly comparing your child to others, be assured that others are comparing their children to yours. And take joy in the ways your baby is amazing! Like how mine can rock a boy's pajama.

Happy Wednesday!

Love,
Dominique

One and Done?

It figures I would have something to actually talk about the day AFTER blog day. So this week, you get a two-fer.

I come from a large family. A loud, proud, Catholic clan - we were well known within our church and school communities growing up and still have significant ties to those today. And I love it. I've always loved it. Growing up with four siblings was nothing short of magical. The shared rooms and shared secrets, the passed down clothing and toys, and even the epic fights were all part of an experience I wouldn't trade for the world.

So why am I so hesitant to even think about another child of my own? Even though my own daughter is not even eight months old, I still often get the question about when we are thinking about having another one. Another one? But I JUST had this one. I JUST spent 9 uncomfortable months, 10 days in hospitals and 7 weeks on bed rest growing and nurturing my current child, didn't I?

I love her so much. To say I would do it all over for her is a given in my mind. For her. For my sweet V, who loves yogurt and the good morning song from Singing in the Rain. But would I want to do it again for another baby? Honestly, I don't know anymore.

Am I terrible for saying that? It never occurred to me that I would stop at one child. Everyone tells me, "well it's so soon - you'll change your mind when she's older and things get easier."

Will I? Maybe. Maybe when she's 18 months, and walking around and singing to herself in the galoshes I'm certainly going to buy her because they're too cute, I'll wish a baby sibling for her to sing to. I'll remember holding her tiny body in my arms at 3am, so tired and so happy, and wish for that experience again.

Or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll look at her and be so content, and so thankful that the days of reading body language and learning her cries and ordering formula and feeding pureed food are long gone, and this adorable creature that tells me she loves me is all mine to enjoy with no other distraction.

Selfishly, finances play a large part. One daycare expense is one thing, but two is basically twice my mortgage. A second baby would put a strain on our already stretched thin finances, and perhaps my 99 civic would just have to be repaired over and over and over because a new car is certainly not in the picture anymore. And where would we even fit a second baby in my civic? Would I have to stop working because the salary I make would only be paying for daycare? I like working. I want to work. I am a working mother.

I don't know how I'll feel 10 months from now. Maybe I'll say "I can't believe I ever even considered stopping at one!"

Maybe I'll still be hesitant and put it off a little longer. Or maybe the desire to have another child will never come back. Either way, I hope I'm supported from all angles in my decision, whatever it is. Because no matter what, I have a family. I have a wonderful husband, a dog, a cat and a beautiful angel of a child, and that's enough for me.

Happy Thursday everyone!

Love,
Dominique

Let's talk about chicks, man.

Good morning, all! I hope you're having a fabulous Funtober thus far. There are a lot of things I could talk about today, including but not limited to - Obamacare, the government shutdown, the article I read a few days ago about infant genome mapping. Indeed, the world weighs heavy on my mind. But Funtober is neither the time nor the place for such subjects, so instead, I've decided to just give a little update on what life is like these days with my little V.

My little pumpkin (pumpkin, get it?) is turning eight months old in about five days, and is just as fun as ever. She's eating "real" meals three times a day, but still has not quite grasped the concept of actual solid foods. We've discovered that she throws up every time she eats real bananas or puffs, which is almost always hilarious because it usually happens on Chris. We also think she might be allergic to mangoes, just liker her BeBe.

She's not pulling up or crawling, but she face plants regularly lunging for toys, so we think she'll figure out how to use her legs to balance soon. I'm not worried about it because I can sit her down and leave the room for a moment, and the worst thing I come back to is her on her tummy crying and flailing her arms. I'll take it.

We've moved on to, and gotten over, our first case of croup. Like a champ, she never acted like she felt bad. Mostly it was just like our baby was replaced with a seal for about three nights, and she did lose her voice for a day or two. She's doing much better now, and back to her chatty self.

She thinks jazz hands, horsey noises and tummy tickles are the funniest thing in the world, and sometimes she laughs for no reason because she's so tired, and she gets an awesome case of the hiccups almost every time she's finished cracking up. This leads me to believe that she thought I was funny even in the womb, because she would get the hiccups every day.

She loves to say "dada" while playing, and "mama" while crying. I was warned this would happen, and I'll be honest, I love that she wants me and only me when she's upset. Remember when I wrote that post about how kids are awesome, and I listed that as one of the reasons? It proves to be true.

I've tried to introduce her to awesome children's music, but she still prefers the creepy kids singing from her toy Violet dog. Ah, c'est la vie.

She has moved on to Infant II at her daycare, and I was super confused the first day I had to take her there. There's a play pen in the middle of the floor where I am used to seeing rocking chairs and boppy pillows, and a table with these funny little buckets seats in it where she sits to eat her breakfast. Still, her teachers seem great, so we're adjusting. Turns out it's taking me longer than her.

Also, this is happening:

We're going as the Swedish chef, and the cutest little singing chicken I've ever seen for Halloween. I can't wait to greet all of the neighborhood kids and parents on Halloween night with this little chick by my side!

That's about all. I hope everyone is enjoying this fall weather as much as I am. God bless Funtober!

Happy Wednesday, ya'll!

Love,
Dominique

#Win

I get it. Hashtags are EVERYWHERE right now. They are a way to say what we really mean without really saying it. Like a passive aggressive emoticon. But one of the most disturbing trends I see going on these days is #Parentingfail #momfail, and just #fail in general.

We all want people to relate to us, and we all want to relate to others. As a (fairly) new mom, I'm just as guilty of this as anyone else. I'll post a picture of my daughter crying after I dropped my cell phone on her head. Again. #momfail. I'll get sweet comments like "Been there!" or "You're doing great, mama!," and these are very cool. But if we live in a culture where we are constantly posting our failures, sooner or late it will be all that we think we are. 

Well, maybe not that dramatic. But I do tend to focus on my weaknesses as a mom instead of my strengths. So today I want you to focus on your strengths. Mom or no, what are you winning at?

#momwin - I can read my daughter like a book. Every expression, every hand gesture, every cry - I am spot on in knowing what she needs from me 99% of the time. 

#momwin - Only once - ONCE - in the entire 5 months of her being formula fed thus far have I run out of formula at daycare and they've had to borrow some from another parent. Considering I order mine online, I consider this pretty much staying on top of things.

#momwin - This: 

Come on, that's great. I even got the comment "This is why I want to have kids." If I can encourage people to have kids, then GREAT! Kids are fun!

#momwin - I taught my daughter to dance. Granted, all she does is scoot around on the floor, but she has a great time doing it. Mama loves an impromptu dance party, so it looks like she got that gene from me.

#momwin - I've discovered the secret to keeping my house clean for now is...drumroll...cleaning as you go. It's not so daunting when you have to do three dishes instead of ten, and one load of laundry instead of four. No, my house will never be spotless. I do still have a kid. But I don't feel like a trainwreck anymore!

#momwin - I've already made V's appointments for her first flu shot and her 9 month check up a month in advance. This is a huge accomplishment for me that I remembered to do it at all, much less not the week before. Win!

#workingmomwin - We are going on over a month of not missing daycare due to illness. #thankyouboogiewipes #disinfectyourselfbeforeyouwreckyourself #mamaneedsthatpaycheck

So that's just a few of mine. Tis the season to celebrate you, and encourage others to do the same. Leave that summertime sadness behind because it's fall ya'll!

Happy Wednesday!

Love, 

Dominique 

Mommy Milestones (Because we're learning to crawl before we walk, too.)

Hello, babies. Now that you've got this new woman in life, you're probably wondering if she's developing on schedule. Remember, all mommies are different - some may be more advanced, and some may be late bloomers, so just be patient with your new mom as she explores this new world around her.

Showering:
1-2 weeks
Your new mommy may start showering again as early as a few days after your birth, but it's not uncommon for this process to take a week or two. Don't worry - she'll get there. If you're a colicky baby, this may take up to three weeks.

Passing you off quickly:
3-4 weeks
Your new mommy is terrified of dropping you, and since your neck is still unstable, this makes the football pass off to other people a necessary step. Try squirming a little bit, and follow it with crying for a few hours. This will make the new transition from mommy's arms to daddy's arms much smoother and quicker in the future.

Sleeping through the night:
4 months - ?
This is very much dependent on how much you work with her. Try sleep training her as early as 3 months. The sooner you're both passing out by 8pm, the happier your days will be. Don't worry if it takes a little longer. She's functioning on the rich nutrients of caffeine until this stage is over.

Leaving you in the care of others:
4 weeks - 1 year (or later)
This new mommy is very attached to you - sometimes physically, so don't be concerned if she isn't comfortable with grandma watching you on her own just yet. Remember, some mommies may be ready to say their goodbyes as early as a few weeks for a night out, while others are perfectly content to stay in for months at a time with their new angel (you) so enjoy it.

Drinking again:
1 day - several months
Some mommies are ready for that first glass of wine in the hospital - after, it's been a long nine months incubating you - but others are maintaining their new mom buzz all on their own. All new mommies drink something eventually. Yours may take longer, but don't be surprised if you taste a little wine in that first bits of breast milk (a little is perfectly harmless.)

Fixing her hair/wearing makeup
6 weeks - never again
Looking presentable may be something is forced upon your new mommy - like returning to work, or your baptism. But other mommies prioritize by showering and getting dressed in something other than pajamas before proceeding with their days with you. Either is perfectly acceptable. Your mommy is beautiful - no matter what she's wearing.

Stop taking endless amounts of pictures you:
Second baby - never
I'll be honest, some mommies never get over "mamarazzi syndrome." Every thing you do is amazing to her, so give her a smile and let it happen. If and when you get a sibling, the pictures may die down a bit, but be prepared for a new stage of matching outfits (for sisters, particularly) and weekly submissions of your videos to America's Funniest Home Videos.


Like I said before, all mommies are different. Yours is wonderful, and developing just as she should be. If you have any reason for concern - ask dad, or babble something to your doctor. An early red flag can lead to a lot of prevention.

Happy Wednesday!

Love,
Dominique

My Top 10 List of things I May Never Learn (And the tough love I need to give myself)

I've learned a lot over the past year. I've grown, (then shrunk) then grew again as I got pregnant, had a baby and am now always attempting to keep said baby happy and alive. But there are always going to be things in my life that I seem to never learn. Why is it so hard?

1) You're not going to want/eat that salad. Whenever you decide you'll get a salad for lunch because you need something fast and the thought of a burger makes you ill, you always end up ill anyway because of low blood sugar 3 hours later. Dominique, you don't want a salad. Just get the damn burger.

2) No amount of preparation is ever going to make your trips to Mobile the same 4 hours they have always been. You have a kid now. She gets hungry, and lonely and screams bloody murder in the backseat until you stop. Get used to a 5 hour timeline at least.

3) Despite your lack of best efforts, geography is always going to be your Achilles Heal. Learn how to point out the important places in the news on a map and let it go.

4) You will never know how to spell the word "necessary." Even as you type the rest of this sentence, the red squiggly line underneath it beckons you to do an auto correct with your right click.

5) You may never learn how to put on eyeliner. It's never been part of your makeup repertoire, and is seemingly one of the few girl-staples that you never bothered with. You've doomed yourself to a life of small, undefined eyes. That someone once told you were too close together.

6) You'll never teach high school English. It's time to let this dream go, as you've now realized that in order to teach others English, you have to be able to properly speak and write it yourself. You have poor grammar, bad spelling and you start a lot of sentences with prepositions. You have, however, learned to separate the two words "a lot." Kudos.

7) You hate running. Or exercise in general that you haven't been tricked into doing. Don't ever join a gym again unless they have a magical pool that somehow always has lounge chairs open and isn't filled with pool rat children and tatted fraternity guys hitting on the lifeguards.

8) You love TV. Accept it. TV and wine are your friends, and subsequently, your only hobbies. Stop telling people you are going to start working in the yard outside.

9) You're not going to make your own baby food, and in all truth, you are terrified of the day when your daughter isn't eating pureed jar foods anymore. She can't survive off of totino's pizzas and mac and cheese like you can, so you better come up with a solution quick.

10) Despite all of your faults, you're a good mom. Your baby is happy, healthy and cute as a button. You're doing fine. And you'll be able to handle whatever comes your way regarding her from here on out. Even if you think you can't.

So there you have it, the Truth Bomb of blogs.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

Love,
Dominique