That Moment You Realize You Wouldn't Change a Thing

I just sat down with a piece of ice cream cake from the kitchen at work. I went in there knowing exactly what I was looking for, and as I cut out a big chunk, I thought, "Well this should help me gain back some of that weight I lost being so sick."

Then I headed over to the water cooler, because pregnant women are required to drink their weight in water every day, and I grumbled to myself, "I can't believe I decided to get pregnant again."

I would be lying if I said these past few months haven't been rough. After our loss in December, I yearned to try again, and as luck would have it, we got pregnant again really quickly. This pregnancy came with all of the good signs of health - including horrific all day nausea that lasted me from 6-14 weeks. And still occasionally hits me.

Add to that my crazy decision to start potty training my two year old,  her biological decision to start cutting the world's worst baby teeth, and a rather large and still growing new baby bill, I have been at my wit's end.

But back to the kitchen. I was standing there with a red solo cup full of ice, and suddenly - something mentally knocked me on my butt. I stopped and thought - I mean REALLY thought - about what I had just mumbled to myself. Of course I decided to get pregnant again. I wanted this. I WANT this. I'm so happy to be expanding my family.

Was I not just telling my coworker, who had been so kind as to share with me that her and her husband were thinking about expanding their family soon too- that it was hands down the GREATEST thing that had ever happened to me? I went on and on and on about how funny, and sweet and beautiful my little girl was, and how even when she was being such a pain, I still loved her more than anything, ever.

I scolded myself silently about how stupid it was to be complaining about such a blessing, and how lucky I was that we were in this (sometimes sinking) boat again. Even if it's hard. Even if it's frustrating. Even if I sometimes long for my childless days of free-spending and glasses of wine with dinner.

I had that moment - that moment in the middle of the hurricane, when you block all of the negative for just a half second, and realize that everything you're going through is what you actually wanted. And it brings a smile to your face, because you did it. It's crazy, and chaotic, but that will end. And when it's all said and done, your life will be better for it. Even if the road was a little bumpier than you originally thought.

And yes, that's sappy and cheesy. And I don't care. I wanted to share my moment.

As always, thanks for listening.

Love,
Dominique

Happy Thursday! Here's a throwback picture for you in honor of #TBT

One year ago, with workout guru, Sweet V: